Chip Boy

Chip Boy7:35 p.m. 2002-04-18 ---From Diaryland...

While I'm on the subject of potatoes, I might as well write about my own experience with a potato admirer I once had. I will call him Chip Boy.

I met this person during a very strange occurance of the moon a few years ago....I think it was on a cinco de mayo weekend, but I could be wrong. I thought he was a nice enough person, and I agreed to go out with him after he called a few days later. Unlike, my mother's sweet potato admirer, "Chip" didn't look like a potato. He was tall, not bad looking, and liked wearing baseball hats. But, it was soon discovered that he drove a Frito O'Lay truck.

For whatever reason, Chip never did indulge to me that he drove a potato chip truck and stocked bags of potato chips. I mean, sure, he wasn't an electrical engineer, but still...I really don't feel it was something to be particulary ashamed of. There were other things however about Chip that DID bother me.

Everytime Chip took me out on a date, he let me go through his coupon book. Yes...I was a coupon date. All dates that were planned revolved over his coupon book that he proudly kept in his glove compartment. Now, I have nothing against coupons. At first I was impressed, but EVERY SINGLE DATE?! All and all, I began to feel guilty..I felt he couldn't afford to take me out.
Still, there were other things about Chip that I did not like. One of his first questions to me over the phone was whether I preferred toupes versus baldness. Now, what kind of question is that? What am I suppossed to say anyway? I said I preferred seeing a bald man than a man wearing a head piece. I guess that was the right answer. I mean, it was no secret why Chip wore baseball caps..DUH...it didn't bother me. But, I gave Chip the right answer, because he continued to tell me facts about how everyone on the set of Bonanza (except Little Joe) wore a hair piece. Lovely...I hope I remember that for trivia.

Another thing I disliked about Chip was he liked talking about politics. I know nothing about politics of any sort, but I was impressed that he knew so much about it...I guessed he read a lot during his chip deliveries..I don't know. I always made sure that I never mentioned that I knew what he did for a living. But at the same time, I found his conversations on the boring side. Many times I had to actually take the phone and put my ear away from the ear piece, repeatedly saying..."oh,really, wow, i didn't know that..ooh..yeah..ok, ahuah.."

Chip always commented on how much larger my home was, but still never invited me to see his. For Christmas he came over with a photograph of his Christmas tree so I could see. Yes, a picture-never an invite.

The one thing that really bothered me most of all about Chip, was that he never ever even gave me a bag of potato chips.

Well, as time went on, and we lost interest in one another. I guess Chip realized that seeing me, and stocking chips was too much for him to handle. One morning however, while stopping by at the Chevron gas station for my cup of coffee, I ran into Chip, as he was stacking his Frito O'Lays. I said, "Hi there!"...and he got redder than a bag of those flaming hot cheetos he had in his hands. He knew that I now knew what his true profession was, and he wasn't happy, and looked quite embarrassed, for some reason. I had a good laugh out of it at least. Eventually, his potato chip route changed it's rounds, and I never saw him again.
beach - bum