Holiday Party

Well, it's that time of year again! Time for me to send the "Holiday Potluck" announcement to everyone at work! I must be careful to exclude the word "Christmas" to not offend anyone of course! After I sent out the flyer, decorated carefully with only Santa Claus, my friend Sharon sent me the the following--it is classic--and true--ENJOY!

This is absolutely priceless and, unfortunately, too close to the truth. Have a laugh!

Company Memo


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FROM: Patty Lewis, Human Resources Director
TO: All Employees
DATE: October 1, 2008
RE: Gala Christmas Party

I'm happy to inform you that the company Christmas Party will take place on December 23rd, starting at noon in the private function room at the Grill House. There will be a cash bar and plenty of drinks! We'll have a small band playing traditional carols... feel free to sing along. And don't be surprised if our CEO shows up dressed as Santa Claus! A Christmas tree will be lit at 1:00 PM. Exchanges of gifts among employees can be done at that time; however, no gift should be over $10.00 to make the giving of gifts easy for everyone's pockets. This gathering is only for employees!
Our CEO will make a special announcement at that time!
Merry Christmas to you and your family,
Patty


Company Memo

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FROM: Patty Lewis, Human Resources Director
TO: All Employees
DATE: October 2, 2008
RE: Gala Holiday Party

In no way was yesterday's memo intended to exclude our Jewish employees. We recognize that Hanukkah is an important holiday, which often coincides with Christmas, though unfortunately not this year. However, from now on, we're calling it our "Holiday Party." The same policy applies to any other employees who are not Christians and to those still celebrating Reconciliation Day. There will be no Christmas tree and no Christmas carols will be sung. We will have other types of music for your enjoyment
Happy now?
Happy Holidays to you and your family,
Patty


Company Memo

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FROM: Patty Lewis, Human Resources Director
TO: All Employees
DATE: October 3, 2008
RE: Holiday Party

Regarding the note I received from a member of Alcoholics Anonymous requesting a non-drinking table, you didn't sign your name. I'm happy to accommodate this request, but if I put a sign on a table that reads, "AA Only", you wouldn't be anonymous anymore. How am I supposed to handle this?
Somebody?
And sorry, but forget about the gift exchange, no gifts are allowed since the union members feel that $10.00 is too much money and the executives believe $10.00 is a little chintzy
REMEMBER: NO GIFTS EXCHANGE WILL BE ALLOWED.

Company Memo

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FROM: Patty Lewis, Human Resources Director
To: All Employees
DATE: October 4, 2008
RE: Generic Holiday Party

What a diverse group we are! I had no idea that December 20th begins the Muslim holy month of Ramadan, which forbids eating and drinking during daylight hours. There goes the party! Seriously, we can appreciate how a luncheon at this time of year does not accommodate our Muslim employees' beliefs.. Perhaps the Grill House can hold off on serving your meal until the end of the party or else package everything for you to take it home in little foil doggy baggy. Will that work?
Meanwhile, I've arranged for members of Weight Watchers to sit farthest from the dessert buffet, and pregnant women will get the table closest to the restrooms.
Gays are allowed to sit with each other. Lesbians do not have to sit with Gay men, each group will have their own table.
Yes, there will be flower arrangement for the Gay men's table.
To the person asking permission to cross dress, the Grill House asks that no cross-dressing be allowed, apparently because of concerns about confusion in the restrooms. Sorry.
We will have booster seats for short people.
Low-fat food will be available for those on a diet.
I am sorry to report that we cannot control the amount of salt used in the food . The Grill House suggests that people with high blood pressure taste a bite first.
There will be fresh "low sugar" fruits as dessert for diabetics, but the restaurant cannot supply "no sugar" desserts. Sorry!

Did I miss anything?!?!?
Patty

Company Memo

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FROM: Patty Lewis, Human Resources Director
TO: All F*%^ing Employees
DATE: October 5, 2008
RE: The F*%^ing Holiday Party

I've had it with you vegetarian pricks!!! We're going to keep this party at the Grill House whether you like it or not, so you can sit quietly at the table furthest from the "grill of death," as you so quaintly put it, and you'll get your f*%^ing salad bar, including organic tomatoes. But you know, tomatoes have feelings, too. They scream when you slice them. I've heard them scream. I'm hearing them scream right NOW!
The rest of you f*%^ing wierdos can kiss my *ss. I hope you all have a rotten holiday!
Drive drunk and die,
The B*tch from H*ll!!!

Company Memo

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FROM: Joan Bishop, Acting Human Resources Director
DATE: October 6, 2008
RE: Patty Lewis and Holiday Party

I'm sure I speak for all of us in wishing Patty Lewis a speedy recovery and I'll continue to forward your cards to her.
In the meantime, management has decided to cancel our Holiday Party and give everyone the afternoon of the 23rd off with full pay.
Happy Holidays!
Joan

The Traveling Velvet Shorts..

In many families, heirloom items are passed from one generation to another. Sometimes its pieces of jewelry or china, books, pictures…etc. Well, in our family it’s a pair of hand sewn black velvet shorts mother made for my two older brothers. Together with it's matching jacket, my brother Eddy wore it for his Aunt Addie’s wedding back in 1960. Throughout the years it has been passed down a generation and re-worn by various young boys in our family. It was worn to various weddings and special occasions throughout the years by our nephew Michael, then again by my brother’s son, my nephew Brett, and afterwards worn by my son Andrew. In its most recent appearance, my youngest son, Nicholas officially wore the notorious shorts two weekends ago at my cousin Elaine’s wedding. It was worn first at her mom's wedding. After 48 years, as you can see in the picture below, it looks just as new as it looked years before. It is now presently hanging in the closet awaiting for the next generation of little boys in the family. I can't wait to know who will be wearing it next..we can only wonder.. Unfortunately, I don’t have a picture of the bride, due to the fact that my camera battery died-which is very sad, because my cousin looked especially beautiful, and her groom was quite handsome. They looked like the perfect bride and groom you find on top of the cake—very Cinderella and the handsome prince. Sigh.. I did manage to take a few pictures before my camera refused to take anymore.


Nicholas wearing the famous shorts..


Playing catch up with November…and I'm going a little backwards--still bear with me..

Okay November is more than half way over, and I haven’t really even been making any entries this month.. When this happens, please know that it’s not because I’ve given up, but it’s due to the fact that I've been overwhelmed with routine daily life! Sad that I don’t have the time to sit and write something-because, a lot of stuff has been going on!


My niece Tara, Lizzy & Mom

I have two Christmas boutiques scheduled for my Avon booth. I had one last Saturday, and it was NOT what I expected it to be. I was told that the event was going to be "widely advertised". I really beg to differ--I think I counted about 10 or 15 people who actually came to the event. I'm not kidding. It was in a small, dark, church hall, and it was freezing. It was colder inside than outside. The only enduring thing was a picture hanging in the kitchen area. It was the same painting that used to hang in my mom's kitchen when I was growing up. A picture of a bowl of fruit, and a bouquet of flowers. It was surreal---I forgot about that painting, and to see it again brought back a lot of memories. Other than that, it was a VERY LONG day. Considering the lack of flow of potential customers, I did break even and did sell--not half as much as I wanted to of course. I honestly made more money from the other vendors who were selling, who came to my booth. It was so boring, we were visiting eachother to pass the time. I did meet some really nice ladies though. It was exhausting nevertheless, and I didn't get home until after 4 pm. Now I still have over 50 gift bags to sell.. I need another boutique to sell! Hopefully the next one will be more fruitful..


Andrew, Nicholas, Mom, my nephew, Michael

We had a birthday for my youngest on the 5th which involved movies and a trip to Chuck E. Cheese. (That was fun—I had no idea however how BUSY that place can be on a week day evening---I would be scared to go anywhere near that place on a weekend!)


Birthday Boy Nicholas











I have yet another goal for this month—I want to finish the throw blanket I’ve been meaning to complete for the last I don’t know how many years. No, I’m not kidding. I’ve promised my daughter to crochet her a blanket since she was 11 years old. (She may have been younger—I’ve lost count of the years.) She brings it up now and then, and teases me about it, so I am really going to try and finish it THIS YEAR. I’ve started various times, throughout the years to make good on this promise to her, only to put it aside for one reason or another. I’ve had various good intentions of start of blankets that are “somewhere” in a bag in the attic. Sad, huh? I vow that I WILL MAKE GOOD and finish this blanket---hopefully before the start of the new year! You read it here folks! THEN, I will finish that green and blue blanket I started for Andrew (that started over 8 years ago-gee I hope I can still find the same color yarn.)

We are on the heels of Thanksgiving... So, here is a list of my thankfuls:

1. I'm thankful that my kids are healthy.

2. I'm thankful that I and my husband have a job.

3. I'm thankful for the bills we can pay.

4. I'm thankful that I live in a safe, loving, stable home.

5. I'm thankful that I have a good man for a husband.

6. I'm thankful for the children we share our lives with. They aren't always easy to live with, but they are ours.

7. I'm thankful for my friends.

8. I'm thankful for the simple things, smiles, giggles, hugs and "I love yous"

9. I'm thankful to be alive.

10. I'm thankful to realize that I have a lot to be thankful for...

Magicians, Rabbits & Candy... OH MY!

Well, Halloween came and went, and we all survived! The day started with some unnecessary drama, but ended quite well! Here are few pictures from the magical evening...


Nicholas, the Magician


Me and my little magician

My pictures are a little dark---couldn't get the flash to work...but we figured it out later:


Nicholas will make this candy disappear!




What do you mean? I always dress like this when I'm in my kitchen..


Nick trying to make me disappear--didn't work..


Lizzy & Nicholas--the magicians..

Lizzy had her own rabbit..






It's not every day you find two white rabbits on your porch..

After only a trip around the block Nicholas was happy with his amount of candy. I was a bit surprised, but I guess I should be thankful that he really didn't want much more. This all means less temptation for everyone else. I heard on the radio that if you eat just ONE fun size candy, you would have to walk a mile to burn it off! Have two candies? That's two miles.. It just doesn't seem fair, does it? I tell you that I was looking forward to walking a little more with Nicholas because I had this in mind, but since he decided to call it an early night, it was probably for the best!

Regretably, I have no photos of Andrew, my Cereal Killer. He spent the night at my mom's and hung out with his friends that night, but was home by 10 pm. He wore a shirt with torn cereal boxes, and cereal glued all over, with random splatters of fake blood all day to the dismay of my mother. She had it hanging outside in the backyard the next day claiming it was attracting ants. I have a feeling it will be hanging in Andrew's closet very soon. No, I'm not too excited, but hope to take a few pictures of it before it goes "mysteriously missing."

October is gone, and November promises to be another busy month.. Will check in later on that! Have a good one!!

Bye October!

It's almost the end of October..two more months until the year is over. Halloween is at the door, and I can already smell the Thanksgiving turkey---oh, and don't forget Christmas... It's hard not to realize that the holidays are coming. I'm reminded each time I enter a grocery store or a mall. The turkey basters are all ready on display admist the left over, last minute Halloween candy, and from the corner you can already see red and green in the aisles screaming Christmas.

Are you ready?

Are we ever ready?

October was a weird month. October has never really been a good month for me--there are some memories associated with the month that I really don't care for. It includes the passing of a baby niece of mine, an anniversary of a large earthquake that shook my little hometown, and the beginning of end of my first marriage. My son Andrew most recently lost a former classmate this month due to a fatal stabbing. He was 16 years old. It was an incident of being in the wrong place at the wrong time. The suspects are known gang members and only one is in custody. Three still remain "out there". The victim was not a gang member, but was wearing red shoelaces-the color of his high school; my school. It boggles the mind that something could happen like this in my hometown-two blocks from the high school, and three blocks from the police station. We do live in a scary world. Andrew has been emotional, and has been asking for extra hugs, and sitting a little more close to me nowadays. He better never complain about his 10 pm curfew ever again!

Last night I put the finishing touches on Andrew and Nicholas' costume. Now that I have sole possession of my camera, I hope to post some pictures of Halloween events. I have Andrew's cereal killer shirt hanging in van, and it's pretty scary looking. Picture boxes of cereal boxes on a white shirt, with cereal glued on the shirt, with fake blood. Sounds harmless, but after Lizzy helped me with the blood splatters, we had it hanging by the front door, and it looked rather creepy under the moonlight.

Nicholas is a magician! I got a black cape, and wrote "Nicholas the Fabulous" with glue paint on the back of his cape, which got mixed reviews: "It sounds like a label for either a cheesy wrestler or a drag queen." So I added "the magician" at the end, and it fixed the "problem". Of course Nicholas heard these comments and didn't want to be teased, but after reminding him that most of his classmates couldn't read anyway, no would would know what I wrote. This morning when he was running in the playground at kindergarten, he felt better because no one did, and he seemed content enough to see how his cape blew in the wind.

Lizzy was so inspired by Nicholas' costume, she too has decided to be a magician, and her boyfriend is going to be a rabbit. This all inspired me of course to also dress as a rabbit, or should I say---COELHA. So, this should make interesting pictures.

My husband, Richard is going to dress like a dad and husband. He doesn't do Halloween, but that is okay, because he makes it fits the part most excellently.

Tonight I'm going to meet up with an old friend that I haven't seen since my "newly divorced, single days." Last time I saw her she was engaged with her now husband. It will be nice to play catch up with her over a margarita--hell, may be I'll even bring my camera after I delete all these advertising photos Lizzy took of tampons and fingernail polish. The other day she made me a hand model for a advertisment photo for nail polish. I will tell you, my fingers started to cramp up. I had to hold down a 4 inch crooked nail "gracefully" with the tip of my nail. Not as easy as you may imagine...

Yay...it's Friday!!!

Airport Adventure

Recently, Rich and I flew into Los Angeles (LAX) airport to spend time with his family. It was a very short trip, San Jose to L.A. on Saturday morning, returning early Sunday afternoon. Very short, but hey better than driving, right? I think we did more "riding around" in the airports more than we did when we drove in our rental car and our final destination! We had flown to Vegas last year, but apparently, I'm getting rusty, (or just old) when it comes to airports. Remember I was the one leaving Portugal with a bottle of Cognac in my carry on.. DUH.. A big NO NO!

Well, when we got to San Jose Mineta International, we decided to park in the long term parking. Good thing we were parked in section C, than section S. The "trolley" bus went through the alphabet with this annoying woman's recorded voice at each lettered section. "You are now entering Parking Lot section "D"...etc...etc.." All that took a good 15 minutes of driving in circles. Imagine having that job--driving around a parking lot in circles, listening to that annoying woman's voice, over and over again. I tell you, that must be pure hell.

Once we got to the airport, I got my e-tickets printed at the kiosk--that was simple enough, and off we went to our "favorite place" -- SECURITY. What a lovely working crew that was. I'm sorry, but the people working there are just plain mean. I'm sure they are just lovely people outside of the airport. Perhaps, they have to be "mean" for the job? I know people who work inside a jail--it comes with the territory, but must I always feel like a criminal when I go through security?

"Take off your shoes, and any metal items, and put it in the plastic container.."

Simple enough, right?

"Lady, that includes your jacket.."

Okay, I put my jacket in there, and walk through the security, so glad I wasn't wearing a belt. People wearing belts, were undressing all over the place, in the undressing area. Men and women holding their pants, barefoot, disoriented.. It's easy to feel a little humiliation. Remind me to where flip flops next time!

Other than that, I love airports. I don't know exactly why, but ever since I was younger I've always had the attraction. The atmosphere, the mood, the people. I remember sitting there watching people go by-some of them running, some of them walking, some happy, some sad.. Sometimes on a occasion you may even see a celebrity, most of the time not. It's a great place to "people watch".

Well, we got ourselves near our departure gate, and I got a bagel, and we just sat there waiting, and relaxed in front of Noah's Bagels when we hear the "last call" for our flight. Last call?! What happened to our FIRST CALL?! Well, luckily we were near the gate, and by the time we got on the plane, we were the last ones so we didn't have to wait in line. The plane was small, but we couldn't see the pilot from our seat like the time we flew to Vegas, so that was good.

After a 45 minute flight, we touched down on at LAX, and off to another trolley for our rental car, where we were "entertained" non-stop by the guy sitting near us at the back of the bus, who was talking to his friend on his cellphone and then to his "baby's momma" for another 20 minutes. It's interesting how some people don't really care how much personal stuff they reveal about themselves when talking on a phone. When we got to the rental car line at Avis, he was still talking to his "baby's momma" behind us in line for another 15 minutes. I still remember a lot of the conversation, I feel I could write a book about this guy's life. I feel like I know the guy, but again, I don't even know his name.



We got a sweet ride.. A beautiful red Camaro....very nice, after you get used to the seemingly small front window. We stayed in beautiful Marina Del Rey, and our sister-inlaw's house is in Venice. We drove only a gallon worth of gasoline to and from to her house. A good maybe 10 minutes..



When we left the next day for home, we dropped of the pretty Camaro at the rental car place, and got into another trolley--another 10 minute drive to the airport. I got stopped at security for carrying a bottle of water in my purse. Damn. DUH. We were early, and decided to just stay near our gate. Little did we know our gate was in a separate location. So, we had to get into yet another trolley bus, another 5 minute drive to a gate that looked like a shack from the outside. We waited a hour there eating cafeteria, bland sandwiches at the only little food place that was there. Did I mention how cold it was? It was cold.

We finally got into the plane, and chose to be the last ones on the plane this time. Why wait in a line again? Yes, we were anxious to get home, but we were tired. Once we got home to San Jose, back in the parking lot trolley to our long term parking, and the annoying woman and her monotone voice: "You are now entering Section..." A strange woman with a straw hat covering her face wearing long knee high socks came in and sat near Rich. She smelled like Vapor Rub. Another 10 minutes on that trolley...

Damn it was great to get home! We had a fun time at Marina del Rey with the family-a nice birthday surprise. Unfortunately, I forgot my camera so I have no pictures with family. We took a wharf walk up and down the marina, where there are hotels and aparments overlooking the harbor. We stayed at the Ritz Carlton-definitely the most nicest hotels I've EVER been at. Great weekend-which we stayed longer.


Our view from our balcony

By the way, I read this in the news---so happens it was at the apartment buildings we passed on our walk near the Marina, about a man found dead sitting on the balcony: http://www.thesunnews.com/253/story/1120575.html

Thank God we didn't see this guy!

Over The Top..

I'm a little late with this, but Wini nominated me for an Over the Top award! Thank you!! Play along! The rules of this award are as follows:

~Answer the questions below using only one word
~Thank the blogger who gave it to you: Thank you, Wini!
~Pass it on to 4 other bloggers---put consider yourselves all included!

So, on with the questions:

1. Where is your cell phone? Purse

2.Your hair? Ponytail

3. Your mother? Home

4. Your father? Heaven

5. Your favorite food? Cheese

6. Your dream last night? Silly

7. Your favorite drink? Margarita

8. Your dream/goal? Retire

9. What room are you in? Livingroom

10. Your hobby? Family

11. Your fear? Sickness

12. Where do you want to be in 6 years? Ocean

13. Where were you last night? Car

14. Something you aren't? Jealous

15. Muffins? Blueberry

16. Wish list item? Paint

17. Where did you grow up? Santa Cruz

18. Last thing you did? Ate

19. What are you wearing? Jeans

20. Your TV? Big

21. Your pets? Gone :(

22. Your friends? Thankful

23. Your life? Good

24. Your mood? Lazy!

25. Missing someone? Always :(

26. Vehicle? Van

27. Something you're not wearing? Socks! (My feet are freezing!)

28. Your favorite store? Ross (Treasure hunt city..)

29. Your favorite color? Red

30. When was the last time you laughed? Morning

31. Last time you cried? Morning (laughed until I cried..does that count?)

32. Your best friend? Rich

33. One place that I go over and over? Mom's.

34. One person who emails me regularly? Floreen

35. Favorite place to eat? Home

Well, I've had a busy week... Currently, it looks like son Andrew has caught on to what Nick had, what I had, and what Richard had. :( Throw up city once again. Lizzy wasn't feeling too well the other day, but no throw up episode which is good, because Rich and I left on a little mini weekend away to meet with his family in Venice Beach. Despite Rich not feeling 100% we did manage to have a great time with his family at my father-inlaw's surprise birthday bash at the "Louella Country Club"! It was great! It started with Bloody Mary's on the terrace overlooking the yacht harbor in Marina Del Rey, at the Ritz Carlton.. BEAUTIFUL HOTEL, I may add.... Will post some pictures as soon as I can find the cord for my camera--I haven't seen it since Lizzy's tampon photo shoot..

The sun is finally shining through the window right now, and it completely different than it did yesterday. We had 60 mph winds over there, with very HEAVY rain. I don't know what I was thinking driving over the mountains yesterday morning. It was raining, cats and dogs, and various farm animals. I wasn't expecting to see a stalled car facing the opposite direction in the fast lane either. I let out a scream, and drove with both hands on the wheel--we are talking white knuckle city. It hardly rained today, and that is good---there is a lot of mud out there just waiting to slide down the mountain. Fortunately, we don't live close to that area, so we are good.

No More Holes In The Wall!

I came home to nicely patched up walls! I no longer can see pipes! I'm so happy! Things are getting back to normal, despite all the sheet rock dust...

I'm happy to report that I am feeling almost 100% better now. Hubby still isn't at that point yet, but he is better than he was yesterday. We can now look forward to the weekend! We are leaving Saturday morning, LAX bound so we can spend some time with Rich's family. His step-dad is turning the big 75, and we are going to surprise him at my sister-in-law's house along with Rich's other siblings. It should be a lot of fun---need to take my camera. We are staying at a really nice hotel in Marina del Rey.. Almost wish we were staying for a longer period of time, but it will be fun to just get away for awhile.

I must tell you something about my tooth pain. It is gone! I accredit it all to the miracle drug elixer of warm salt water. I am not kidding---it works so well---there is nothing better! I cannot believe I forgot about it! I swear upon it now! After taking it, the pain almost immediately went away. My son tried it for himself this evening because he was complaining of a canker sore. He laughed when I suggested it, but now, he is also a true believer! "Mom! My mouth doesn't hurt anymore!" Nothing like the old fashioned water and salt...oh, and yes, whiskey works too.

Halloween is soon upon us, and Nicholas has announced what he wants his costume to be: A Magician. I don't know where he got that idea, but it will work. All I need is a top hat, and a black cape, and a wand... I tried to convince him to be a wizard, but he insists on being a magician--his mind is set on it, so magician it will be!

I mentioned on Facebook that Lizzy was doing a photo shoot in the front yard for tampons. I wasn't kidding... Here is the picture:



(Hey, I'm holding the yellow poster board behind Lizzy if you are wondering..)

Have a great weekend!