No...I am neither "cold and alone" by no means, and for that I'm very grateful, but for some reason the internet thinks otherwise.
I've been bombarded by emails from the SNUGGIE people and EHarmony recently, ever since I got on Facebook. My "status" states clearly "married"--doesn't that mean anything--shouldn't it FLAG something? Apparently I don't know myself better than the evil internet who thinks I must be single and alone, and because of that, I am cold at night because I have no one to snuggle with, so I obviously need that Snuggie, and because of this, it wants me to find someone on EHarmony so I won't be "alone anymore". The internet is looking out for me. How sweet, but no thanks.
How attractive! It reminds me of a bath robe worn backwards. There is no back--it's like a hospital robe without the annoying strings! It reminds me of something an occult group might wear to a bonfire meeting or an execution. It's a wonder it doesn't come in "midnight black".
Okay, the Snuggie may be a marvelous invention, and I do know a few people who have found love, or thought they found love through EHarmony. I don't want to put them down, but I'm not cold, and I'm not alone!! These emails are just so annoying. Where were they when I WAS cold AND ALONE?! Where were you then, Snuggie and EHarmony?!
It's Spring!! YAY!
Remember my neighbors, the Stuarts? Mary, my dear neighbor who always kept her front yard looking like the gardens at Disneyland? Well, we were shocked the other day when we noticed that her entire front yard was torn up for a total remodel. What?! Why or why?! It was beautiful! Well, the workers are out there again this morning, and there is no doubt that it will be even MORE beautiful. Time to fix our front yard and cement that big piece of dirt husband has been parking in. I'm sure it makes Mary shudder each time she sees the dirt stained tire marks on the sidewalk. The weeds sprouting all over in the backyard is making husband want a pool more than ever. If he had his way, he would cement the whole backyard. Perhaps a cement "pond" will happen in the near future. The Stuarts don't have a pool. They have a gazebo with a garden and a water fountain--very pretty. They used to have Koi fish until the raccoons came by in the middle of the night one summer and ate them all. We get big raccoons visiting us, and we have a large amount of fearless squirrels running about. What if they fell in the pool?! Do squirrels and raccoons swim?
I'm definitely need to put my son Nicholas in swimming lessons. NO pool until this little boy knows how to swim! I've always been nervous in the water-ever since I was a young child, but I've always wanted a pool in the backyard ever since I was a young child---doesn't make sense, I know. It's like living on a island all your life and never learning how to swim. You'd be surprised how many people there are like that. For example, my mother has never owned or worn a bathing suit. I've only seen her wear shorts---bermuda shorts. In her day, only "cabritas" (wild goats--aka: wild girls) wore swimsuits. You were either a "cabrita" or a "tom boy"...if you dared to jump into the sea! Better to sit on a rock in "proper attire" with a umbrella/parasol to keep the sun off of your delicate skin! See---they may have had a point there. I don't think they had SP sun block screening back then.
Have a great weekend! Is it still snowing in Ohio, Lisa? :( Wherever you are, put on the Snuggie or, if you are lucky and get to enjoy the sun today, smear on that sunblock or carry your parasol, cabritas!
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