Wednesday, April 25, 2012

Well, that was awkward...

We've all had those awkward moments. Moments in life we find ourselves caught in the headlights; having the wind knocked out of you. It could be from something you hear, or something you see. Usually these moments are ones we can all do without.

I remember one awkward moment from my childhood in particular. I remember sitting in the parlor of my mother's home in the Azores. We had just arrived, and my mother's aunts, God bless their souls (they are no longer with us), were all gathered there visiting. My mother's aunt, was sitting there happily reading a letter out loud. It was a letter written by her daughter and she could not hide her excitement. We had brought this letter with us from the States, and my mother's cousin had come over to bring it with us, but I don't think it was her intention to have her mother read it out loud in my mother's home. Tia Ana was so happy to read this letter, and she apparently wanted everyone in attendance to hear it. Fortunately, my mother was busy in the kitchen and did not overhear the contents of this letter. Tia Ana happily read the following out loud: (translated in English):

"That silly Ana (my mother) did not have room in her luggage to send the gifts I had bought for you. Perhaps if she didn't pack so many shoes there would be room for the gifts I wanted to send to you. She is so stupid."

Tia Ana just continued reading away and didn't even bother to stop. The other aunts in the room all looked in my direction. I wish I could say there was some awkward silence involved, but there wasn't. Tia Ana must not have realized what she just said, or may be she pretended not to. I just know that I pretended I didn't understand. Okay, it was no secret that my mother liked to dress well. I didn't bother telling my mother, mainly because I knew it would only cause unneeded drama, but I remember my face turning a little red, and I remember giggling away from the room.

Pretending awkwardness never happens works, sometimes.

I think the worse awkward moment was the day I caught someone, an old family friend, go through my purse. What does one do in such a situation? I whisked away as fast as could hoping I would go unnoticed. I thought some situations are easier to deal with when you pretend not to notice. I found myself pacing in the bathroom pondering what to do. I thought of my options. Approaching the subject, and asking the subject what the heck she was doing in my purse would more than likely cause a very uncomfortable/defensive environment. Should I just let it slide? I asked the house. It was an old house, with what I thought had a lot of spirit, and a lot of wisdom. I wondered what my dad would do. After being in the bathroom for at least ten minutes, I decided that it would be easier to all involved to just let it slide. I let this person off the hook, but apparently, I can't honestly say I've let it go yet. The rest of her visit, which was only a few days longer was hard. I did my best to laugh it all off, and try and get past it. But it honestly bothered me. What was she looking for that she couldn't ask me personally? Did she need lip balm? A tampon? What? Was she looking to see if I worked for the FBI? Did she need my passport? Honestly! I didn't notice anything missing from my purse-at least anything I noticed was missing. I just think she knows that I know. Yes, I know what you did that summer, and that just wasn't cool.

Awkwardness. Is that even a word?

I could go on about a number of other awkward moments, but I'm afraid it might just get me in trouble.

But here are few personal, somewhat awkward ones:

Being in the drive-thru with my kids and the Burger King, in front of an unlocked bathroom: A unassuming man opens the door wide open, and there is this guy sitting on the john with his boxers down at his knees staring at our direction in shock...

Walking into a bedroom and catching sight of an older man in his boxers in the middle of getting dressed. This guy actually had knee high socks complete with garter belts.

Being at a family wedding, chatting away with cousins in the bathroom, when in comes a person in a full tux. I tried to alert my cousin, but I was too late. "Sorry sir, but this is the women's bathroom!" "I am a woman!"

Sitting in church pretending not to hear the stomach sounds coming out of the older man sitting next to you.

Talking to a someone, and end up staring at the piece of spinach stuck on their front teeth.

Talking to someone and pretending not to notice the booger hanging at the end of their nose.

Pretending not to notice that your boss has a huge red leakage stain on the back of her dress. (I was afraid of that woman. I didn't know how to tell her.)

Pretending not to notice your significant other just farted in public.

In a intoxicated moment having someone confess to you that they've had a crush on you for years, but never had the courage to tell you.

(What do you say after that??)

Having an undergarment slip off from under you, and finding yourself kick it to the side.

Discovering that the friends with kids who came to visit left stains on your couch pillows, and the parents hid them by turning them over, thinking you wouldn't notice.

Learning that your child really did need to use the bathroom, and pretending not to notice that big puddle in front of the Pinocchio ride at Disneyland.

Being asked by your ex-mother-inlaw who is ill, why you and her son are no longer together.

Pretending you don't know someone anymore, because doing so would only make for an awkward situation.

Feel free to share your own.


Andrea Prete said...

About 2 years ago I was at a baby shower. One of the other guests, a friend I hadn't seen in a year, asked me when I was due. I took looked at her, took a long drink out of my beer, took a deep breath and told her I wasn't pregnant. The color drained from her face and I knew instantly how bad she felt. That was awkward.

Coelha :B said...

Oh dear... that WAS awkward. Do you guys still talk?