Sunday, April 15, 2012
Cocktails and Dreams
The other day, while driving around town, doing my errands, I noticed a sign on the side of a bar. It read, "Cocktails and Dreams" and it made me laugh out loud. From where this bar was, in the middle of a strip mall nudged between a Taco Bell and a Dry Cleaners, it was hardly the place a person would be looking to capture some "dreams" perhaps a drink, but dreams?
As I laughed and drove away, I began to wonder about my own dreams. Most of the dreams I had in high school have faded into reality, and only thought of occasionally if ever at all. My priorities in life changed. As I grew up I realized that most of the dreams I had were more impossible than approachable. Or are they? Why must I wonder? May be I should take the sign's suggestion and drink more. I mean, really? Are things more "possible" when your thoughts are altered? Is being too logical and sensible the main cause of defeat?
Remember when you were younger, and nothing seemed impossible? Sure, you "thought" you knew "everything" about life, and you were so convinced that your parents and most grown ups where so clueless and so boring that there was no way in hell you would end up like them. Then you found yourself suddenly thrown in the adult world of reality. You suddenly have rent or a mortgage to pay, and you had to be responsible. Then, you have kids. Okay, game over! It's no longer about you--it's about them.
I remember getting married at a very young age, and for most people I knew, they thought we were both crazy. Sure, I was still going to community college, and my husband had no college education whatsoever, and sure, his command of the English language was a little limited, but that didn't stop us. We worked, we bought a house and we had jobs, and did pretty well considering. While my friends from school, who just got out of college were struggling, we were making mortgage payments, having kids and traveling. We didn't have a perfect life by no means, but we loved each other, and we weren't afraid.
I was always the designated driver. I didn't drink, and now, when I look back sometimes, I think I should have been doing most of the drinking. I did let him leave to pursue his dreams though. Did I really have a choice? You can't make people change their dreams--especially if you don't belong in them. It doesn't matter how warped or wrong you may think of another's "dream" - they are still going to pursue them, no matter how many people it hurts along the way. Sometimes it feels "safer" to not dream at all. It was a mutual parting of ways. And I think that was the best decision we both made, but I can only speak for myself. My dreams are still in drive. I'm still working on them, and I don't think I'll be done anytime soon, but it's work in progress. My dream box has no reverse gear.
Cocktails and dreams? It's a lie. It's just an illusion. It's the "afraid" part that will always get you. Afraid of failure; afraid to be alone...afraid of old age, sickness...death. Time to live is now. Live your dream. You don't have to be famous, nor do you have to do something the world will love you for, and don't do something that is expected of you. Do something that means something to yourself because that is all that matters. I'm not writing this to counsel anyone; just myself, but if it inspires you, I'll take it as a compliment. I raise my glass you! Cocktails and dreams..
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