Hello Eloise...

The other night, as I and my husband lay quietly in bed, drifting slowly to sleep the phone rang. Startled, I jumped off my pillow! I blindly reached for the phone sitting on the nightstand next to my weary head, and let out a groan. I hate getting late night phone calls. They always scare me--especially the unexpected calls. All the kids were home and counted for. Who on earth could be calling at this time of night if something wasn't wrong? Usually it never is a good reason for calls like these. Like my husband always says, "Nothing good ever happens after midnight."

I answered the phone cautiously.

"Hello..?"

"Hello!" a very unfamiliar women's voice answered. In a deep southern accent she asked, "Did I wake you up?"

Wow, I thought to myself. Whatever gave this woman that idea? Was it my half awake voice, or did she conviennatly forget that it was 12:30 am?! Is this normal for people to do at this time? Who did she think she was calling? Some celebrity like Paris Hilton or Lindsay Lohan? I may have been having a real nice dream lady! How dare you! You scared me! A rush of annoying thoughts towards this woman swirled in my head, but I apparently was too tired to voice them. I did not know this woman on the other line, so I tried to sound as annoyed as possible.

"Um, yes, you did wake me up. Who is this?"

"It's Eloise!" the cheerful southern voice answered.

This woman's cheerfullness made the call even more irritating.

"I don't know an Eloise. Who are you calling for?"

"Karen."

"You have the wrong number."

Eloise apologized and we both hung up. Finally I could fall back to sleep. However, not a minute had passed when the phone rang once again. I knew it must have been Eloise.

"You have the wrong number!" I exclaimed.

"I'm so sorry, but can you give me some information on this number?"

What?! Are you kidding me?! Really lady! No matter how many times you call this number you are not going to speak to Karen! At this point I was tempted to slam the phone down on Eloise, but instead I have her the "information" she asked for. The nerve, really..

"My number is 225-3317, and there is no Karen living here."

I hung up on her second apology.

Afterwards, did I go to sleep right away? No. All I could think about was this woman named Eloise. I tried to picture in my mind what she looked like. I wondered who Karen was. I have a sister-in law named Karen, but she couldn't possibly be looking for her, or could she? Did this Karen have a similar phone number to mine? Did Eloise dial the wrong area code, or did she write down the number wrong? Why on earth would she be calling Karen this late? Was Eloise calling from a different state? Perhaps that could explain her southern accent. May be Eloise was calling from Georgia, or Alabama; and then suddenly I visualized one of the actresses from The Help. My wondering went on for hours. I think I finally fell asleep at 3 am.

I woke up craving biscuits and grits.