Monday, January 3, 2011

2011....helloo...



It's January---a new month, a new year...hopefully one full of inspiration. Who knows, may be I'll be inspired enough this year to write more?

I've heard the questions: When, Julie, when will you be writing "that book?" I've been haunted by this question over and over again.. It's like a dog gnawing slowly on the same old leather shoe, everyday. The shoe laces are shredded, and that old poor hound dog is looking at me with those big soulful sad eyes, that tell me.. "Julie...enough already..I'm tired." I question myself. I wonder if I can accomplish it. I also wonder if I'm ever going to finish that black and white striped blanket that I started last year for my daughter Lizzy. (Another resolution of mine.) Sometimes I wish I had more confidence in myself. Bad excuse, I know. I hear my sister-inlaw, Otilia somewhere in the background of my memory, the last summer I saw her, asking that very same question. Her eyes and voice full of excitement, she asked me about the book I was going to write, years and years ago. She had not forgotten after all those years. Her question surprised me, and caught be off guard, and at the same time, it saddened me. After all those years, how could I have forgotten? All those years she had believed it would happen, and with life, kids, and the chaos of everyday life put it all in the background, slowly further down the list of "to do's". Driving down to the city of Angra do Heroismo, with the kids in tow, off to get an ice cream at the port of Sao Mateus, I drove with my sister-inlaw on a summer afternoon. Little did I know it would be the last day I would ever see her. Believe me, driving past her house this summer, seeing the windows closed, the curtains hanging there motionless, with no life inside was difficult to see. If I had known, there would have been more summer afternoons of ice cream and drives to the city.

I think changes are in the horizon for me this year. Good changes..not drastic go blonde changes, but I may come across a little bit more selfish to some people. I may surprise you, or I may not. I'm taking my priorities more seriously this year, so you may or may not see a change. But, I vow to say NO more often, and perhaps I may even drink more wine. So I raise a glass to you and yours. May this year be the year of resolved resolutions! May your year be filled with happiness and peace, and may you all have a good time!

Be good to yourself.

3 comments:

LYN said...

Happy New year! I like the sound of the new you!! I might just join ya! Cheers!!

Tom Prete said...

Sounds like a good year, cousin! Looking forward to reading more of your writing. -Tom

Missie said...

Happy Belated New Year! I like the idea of making the new year about you. Maybe we should all do that.

Have a good weekend.